Oh, the incessant rain!

Oh, the incessant rain. It kept on lashing all around and left him feeling cold and wet. He was outside his home standing near the gate with nothing to protect him from the rain. But he didn't care. He was sad and frustrated.

Divya and him have been fighting continuously. He indulged her angry outbursts in the beginning but he couldn't take it anymore. He worked so hard at work only for her and their son. Yes, he was guilty of cancelling many a planned holidays. Yes, he would take on a work call no matter where he was. Yes, he stepped out of the auditorium during his son's play to talk to his boss. Doesn't she understand how much it hurt him too? To know that he completely missed his son's part on the stage that day?  But it was all for a good cause, after all his boss called to tell him that he was chosen to go to London on a work trip for a week! I thought Divya would be thrilled but she just smiled and went to bed. I haven't felt her skin in so long. Memories of a happier time filled his mind.

There, she just stepped out of our home with our little boy. It crushed me to know how distant we have become today. I stand here everyday to just catch a glimpse of her and Rohan but they see right through me. Maybe they just don't have expectations from me anymore.

She was very close. She looked up for a brief second and quickly looked down again. I see that she is wearing the pendant that I gave her. Maybe she still loves me. I watch them for a long time waiting for Rohan's school bus. They are not saying much. Suddenly Rohan looks at his mother and says, "I miss papa. Do you?"

Divya nearly chokes while answering, "I always did and I always will. He is very close to us & is watching us to keep us safe. I can feel it. He loves us very much Rohan, never forget that."

The bus comes in splashing water all over the road and Rohan got into the bus which left in a great hurry leaving Divya & me in a silence that crept between us a long time ago.

Le Pondy - An experience that stays with you!

My husband & I decided to book a weekend stay with Le Pondy, a quiet resort located a little further from Pondicherry. It's a good 4-5 kms from the main city and not very accessible by public transport. But if you have your own transport, this should be no problem at all.

We had booked a Lake View Room and checked in on a Saturday afternoon. It's a vast, open & airy property with a gorgeous lake on one side and the sea on the other. The first thing that strikes you, is that this is a very big resort!

The reception was very courteous and warm. We were tempted to check the Presidential Pool Villa during check in. He was smart enough to identify our inclination & gave us a good deal. And that was the beginning of an unbelievable & exotic dream holiday!

The private pool was surprisingly large and flanked on each side by a roofed pool deck and an adorable open kitchenette. It was extremely well planned to give you maximum privacy. For all those who are shy about getting into a public pool, this is the place to go!

The rooms were large and spacious with all the amenities that one needs. The real shocker was the open air bathroom! It took me a while to get used to it but once you do it really is something you won't forget in a while.

Now comes the slight con - the food. After all this preamble, our expectations about the food was sky high. Especially about the Sea Food. But the food was strictly average. It lacked any particular punch or taste or flavour. Mind you, it wasn't bad. It was much better than any unhealthy and oily mess. Infact all their food had minimal oil. But it truely lacked flavour. The Kerala Style Prawn Curry and Ghee Rice was disappointing. But simple food like Sandwiches and Salads were quite good. They ended our trip with a complementary cake for our anniversary. A good way to say bye :)

Overall the Presidential Pool Villa gets a big thumbs up! They have two kinds btw, Presidential & Luxury Pool Villa. If you are a couple looking for a quiet time or a big family with kids, Le Pondy is a great place to be near Chennai but be cut off at the same time!

Solitude

My mother was out of town. So it was just me & Dad. We both get along pretty well. Very well actually. So here i was, sitting at home, when my dad announced that he had to go out. He sounded guilty, so i looked up from my book and smiled. His eyes still were unsure. I am sorry you'l b alone he said. I started giggling. "Dad! I am not 10. I'l b fine. Infact great. You wont interfere with the TV!",i said quite honestly. He nodded unconvincingly and walked out. Before he left he looked back and said,"If there was one thing you hated all your life, it was to be left alone anywhere and anytime. You are not like that anymore. Anyway, i will be back soon."

And then I was sitting right where I was, but my mind raced. He was so right. As a single kid, i always fought against being alone. If my friends wanted to play with someone else, i would bribe, even plead them to stay. I would give away my toys and promise them a lifetime of fun if they played with me! Thanks to my convincing powers, they believed me. Of course i also delivered what i had promised and since I was a crazy kid, it was not difficult to do! It was not that i didn't have any friends. I had plenty. But i was constantly trying to keep them all together with me all the time. I was never alone. And i was proud of that.

How this habit became a part of me, so deeply ingrained, that i never realized when i was doing things just to please "my friends". I would change all my plans to accommodate them. Even a simple thing like a phone call, was always made by me. But i didn't mind doing it. It was a part of me. They loved being with me and we had loads of fun, so what's the harm in that right? So I kept going down that road. After all I was never alone, and i was proud of that.

Of course, life sometimes hits you right where it hurts, just to show you where you are going wrong. When it decided to hit me, I was dazed. I was the perfect friend! How did this happen. But it did. And like any normal person i reacted with anger and withdrawal. I changed my attitude towards other people and most importantly towards myself. But with this heart breaking incident i discovered myself and most importantly, I discovered the joys of solitude.

I always thought that being alone meant being sad. It meant defeat and rejection. I never realized how satisfying it can be, to be fully aware of yourself and revel in solitude. It soon became an addictive habit. I still love people and love being surrounded by them. But after a while i get restless and this tug in my heart to run away and go back to where i can clearly listen to my thoughts. To be with just myself. And it made me feel calm and good.

Solitude, when it is your own choice is an experience that enlightens you about your own strength. It leaves you feeling strong and good, where you do not need anybody's approval to believe in yourself. I still have several friends. And i can see the difference in me, reflected in their behaviour. Today too I am not alone. But even if I am, I can be happy. And I am proud of that.

The Promiscuous Nairs ;-)

Sounds like the Headline of some sleazy magazine huh. Oh its not some made up story to grab attention. Its true, its shocking and quite frankly amusing! My job requires me to divulge into the deepest lesser known historical facts almost on a daily basis. But this fact that i stumbled upon during my research hit close to home.

The Nair community(this includes all alternate surnames like menon,nambiar and so on) were one lot where the women called the shots. They followed a family system called Marumakkatayyam which literally means 'matrilinear'. This implied that all inheritances will be given to the daughter's children, not the son's children!! Haaaa.. Take that you chauvinistic paternal system! But the fun part is yet to come. :)

This kind of Tharavadu (family) system lead to the fact that the women had all the money and all the power. Mind you, in those days, after the kings, it is not the malayali brahmins who had the mollah, but it was the nairs. This kind of money combined with the fact that Nair women were very beautiful in general..wait..did i say were?..I mean ARE! ... hehe... Anyways, all this together lead to the fact that NAir women had multiple partners/marriages/you-know-what! With the consent of the family, infact even with the consent of the society in general!

A writer called L.K.A IYER has recorded it his book and said, that when these girls reach the age of 12 or 14,the mother goes around amongst her relatives asking for a relative to marry her. When someone agrees to this and marrys her,he just picks up his bag and leaves to where he belonged. This unlike what happens now a days,she need not go with him. Of course she can if she wants to,but she's not under any compulsion to do so. Even her first husband often returns to his hometown or the battlefield leaving his wife behind.

Now if the girl is pretty 3-4 men may "marry" her. After this they actually have slots allotted to them from noon to early morning next day! During this time, she even has a board hung on the door to let the other one know that she is 'busy' ;)

Not only this, she could reject anyone of her so-called-husbands. And the Men could do nothing about it. Infact the more number of men she 'married', the more esteemed she was!

Well thankfully( or is it?) this dosent exist today. But you can see a few insinuation of this status she enjoyed at that time,even today. Someone from a Nair family will know what im talking about :)

Not that I am proud of this multiple partner thingie. hehe... But Im proud that atleast i dont belong to some groups in India where for a women's everyday life was filled with humiliation and being treated like a door mat.

It was one tid-bit i just had to share ! Enjoy !

Idli starts :)

I moved to Chennai few months ago. Till then i associated this city with only one thing. Idli and heat. Errr...i guess that's two things. Anyway since i was shockingly uninformed, I was in for a surprise when i came here. Not all good ones. But not all bad ones either. So idli musings are simply my attempt to organize the random thoughts that plague my mind. It was getting too full you see.

I am not a great writer. I rarely use big words and gape secretly when i spot them in other's writings. This blog is where i shall pour my heart. Its not that easy for me to do so. The deepest thoughts, questions, opinions shall all come out. Hopefully.

I belong to the city of Mumbai. Not physically anymore. I am a Chennai-wasi now. But in my heart, i am a Mumbaikar. And may remain so all my life. Its not a conscious decision. It's just habit i guess. And its certainly not because of this over-rated phenomena called 'The Mumbai spirit'. This Mumbai spirit is nothing but a mixture of the desperation to survive and the habit of flirting with danger everyday. Mumbai local trains teaches everybody to be tough. Weaklings and newcomers are pushed out of the train with such force that they take it personally. They feel unwelcome and hurt. Some stomp their foot and curse them. Some just leave. If you try to get too emotional about being pushed around you will never stand a chance.

No. I am not being cynical and mean. I love this city. All the compliments and ooh's and aah's showered upon Mumbai is justified. But all this time,i never knew the reason. What is it about Mumbai that keeps everyone ticking?

But now that I am here in Chennai, far from away from Mumbai, things are getting clearer. I am waiting till it stares at me right into my face. That will be some moment for me :)

Till then just an advice for all the Mumbai virgins. When somebody's describing the magical Mumbai where every dream can come true(such a cliche! i know) or trying to explain what is so great about it but cannot seem to find the right words, don't brush him off. He and I share an experience, that just has to be felt.